That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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