he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
