Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Can you bring me the toilet please
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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