yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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