you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
