I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
