I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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