I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
