Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
