you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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