Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
