I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
