how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
