i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
