Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
