Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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