i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
