spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
