I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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