i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
