i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
