What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
