Kiss
Puke
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
