We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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