All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
