your room smells of hookers.
And success
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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