I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
