I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
