You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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