I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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