is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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