I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
