If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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