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• (847): View more from Illinois

  She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous

  (269): View more from Michigan

  If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.

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• (707): View more from California

  It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.

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