She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS