Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

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(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome. http://tfl.nu/21pe

Replies (22) Good night (29295) Bad night (1234)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

well that was a long night...

(609): View more from New Jersey

dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?

(908): View more from New Jersey

no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on

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(908): well that was a long night... (609): dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened? (908): no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on http://tfl.nu/y1mz

Replies (11) Good night (3302) Bad night (516)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

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(215): The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room. http://tfl.nu/3nsa

Replies (86) Good night (40511) Bad night (2248)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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(910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8

Replies (17) Good night (970) Bad night (3845)
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(+06): View more from

We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.

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(+06): We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away. http://tfl.nu/dvn1

Replies (13) Good night (6458) Bad night (1096)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.

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(505): new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse. http://tfl.nu/qxpq

Replies (6) Good night (2562) Bad night (760)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.

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(515): Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/28bg

Replies (18) Good night (6667) Bad night (954)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.

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(404): Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams. http://tfl.nu/pssg

Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (604)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?

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(412): Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest? http://tfl.nu/7pdc

Replies (7) Good night (933) Bad night (383)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.

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(910): I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy. http://tfl.nu/uqk4

Replies (2) Good night (1026) Bad night (381)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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(+44): As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW http://tfl.nu/48d7

Replies (8) Good night (839) Bad night (464)
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(818): View more from California

I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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(818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa

Replies (0) Good night (698) Bad night (316)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool

(1-507): View more from Minnesota

In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.

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(507): I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool (1-507): In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking. http://tfl.nu/611z

Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (326)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"

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(501): You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS" http://tfl.nu/6ckr

Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (308)
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(438): View more from Quebec

the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love

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(438): the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love http://tfl.nu/1vr2

Replies (0) Good night (782) Bad night (228)

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