Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize