I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do