dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??