So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.