I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
