She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
