If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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