similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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