That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize