it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a bad idea.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.