I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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