After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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