I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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