dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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