Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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