I smell stomach acid.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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