Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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