is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have aggressive nipples.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
