were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i've created a new STD.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
