This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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