Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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