So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
