Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
