Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
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She had a baby Jesus butt plug
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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