I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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