He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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