Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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