Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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