Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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