She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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