Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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