She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize