haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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