C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
