bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
