i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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