i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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